11/23/08

The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity (Submitted By Gata)

8. THE BATHROOM OF A FRAT HOUSE

HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: You were pretty excited for the Kappa Delta Gamma party, so you put on your favorite striped shirt, a few dabs of Drakkar Noir and headed out for the evening. After downing a large number of vodka shooters, lemon drops and a Coors Lite beer funnel, you spy the lady of your dreams. She's mildly overweight, has a decent case of acne and coke-bottle glasses, but through your cheap booze goggles, she looks like a combination between Carmen Electra and Angelina Jolie. After a few minutes of chatting, you ask her if she would like to go to the bathroom. Her low self-esteem forces her to say yes and you are on your way. During intercourse over the the toilet you mistake one of her stomach rolls for a breast and fondle it for the entire 45 seconds of condomless sex. Once it's over, you confidently return to the party and inform your friends of your endeavor, where you are called "Fatty Fats Fucker" and "Pork Chop Porker" for the rest of your college career.

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